Before I dive into today’s post, let me first explain our hiatus from writing. You see, occasionally bloggers find themselves with a more pressing commitment to finish a novel they’ve signed on for with a publishing company. These people can be nightmares, giving you ridiculous deadlines, embarrassingly cheap stipends for research and almost no sense of professionalism. With that said, we have completed our endeavor and you can pick it up at just about any bookstore ever, just look under the section “Bible.” Quite the twist at the end, tough one to put down.
-You know how they always have articles about who would win in a fight? They always choose superheroes like Batman or Superman, or maybe tough guy action stars like Rambo or McClane from Die Hard. That’s retarded, I would much rather watch mediocre sized men with minimal to no combat training go at it, give me Jon Cryer vs. David Hyde Pierce, that would be awesome. Or dogs, that would be cool to watch dogs fight.
- Why doesn’t anyone appreciate heavy metal? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be mad on a night in/night out basis. Especially when you start making millions. I tried to be mad once for as long as I possibly could, I made it thirteen minutes and then I saw a picture that made me smile and I couldn’t even fake it anymore. Go ahead, try it, get pissed then click on this.
- Did you know that 73% of middle school girls can recite the full lyrics to at least one Justin Bieber song, while only 58% can recite the National Anthem. That is ridiculous, Love Me only has like thirty different words, how do you not know the whole song?
- Why are polar bears the iconic image of “global warming”? Have you ever actually seen a polar bear that wasn’t in the zoo? No, you haven’t, because they live at the North Pole. You know why Santa Claus is at the North Pole, because people knew no one would take the fucking time to go check if he was really there. On the contrary, I see a deer like everyday. You’re telling me this doesn’t make you want to pull that plastic out the trash and recycle it?
Anyway, we’re back. Please plan accordingly.
