Who thought of the term jacking off? I mean really. Nobody calls the penis a jack. I guess maybe they saw someone using a jackhammer and thought “Oh, that reminds me of when I am masturbating.” Possibly Jack’s mother walked in on him playing with himself one day when he was supposed to be working on his income tax returns and from that time on whenever he was off task his mother was like “Stop Jacking off Jack!”
Spanking the Monkey- No one calls their penis the monkey. You really aren’t spanking it you are rubbing it. Rubbing the monkey would make sense. Rubbing the penis makes even more sense. Lets all make a conscious effort to say rubbing the penis whenever we are talking about masturbating.
Choking the chicken- that makes more sense. Whenever an old farmer was choking the chicken not only does it look like a person masturbating, but back in those days they were rubbing the penis whenever they were choking their chickens. Seacrest out.
