To create a great advertising campaign all you need is a few things:
First you need a great spokesman, currently the 7up red spot guy is available. If you need to see some of his work click here. Also I believe the noid is still out of work, here is some of his finest work.
Then you need a catchy catch phrase like, mcdonalds “I’m lovin it”, or Kay Jewelers’ “Every kiss begins with kay.” Or my personal favorite the fleshlights’ phrase, “It’s like fucking a real vagina that you have to watch out in the sink.”
Finally you need a great commercial. Make sure it includes great music, some sexual innuendo, football players tackling each other or explosions, a funny cartoon character, someone who shits their pants, (for the older viewers) and a romantic affair so it appeals to everyone.
Oh, I almost forgot you also need a great product. Invent something cool that everyone needs, like a machine that cleans out your ass, a machine that makes tacos for you so you can sit on the couch, automatic refrigerator that replaces food for you automatically, or of course the sleeping haircut machine that cuts your hair while you sleep, (unfortunately it can only cut a perfect Justin Bieber haircut.)
Then just put it on tv in any time over and over and over again and it will annoy the piss out of everyone until they have to buy your product. Boom, you have a million dollars congrats.
Also, maybe you could hire billy mays, I think he must be out of work, b/c I haven’t seen him in awhile.
